Navigating the Seas of Social, Emotional, Mental Health: A Guide for Parents
- Reah Coo
- Mar 28
- 11 min read
Understand the complexities of Social, Emotional and Mental Health (SEMH) in children, including how to support your child through social struggles, emotional dysregulation and mental health challenges. Discover the rise in SEMH following COVID-19 and its impact on Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA).
Highlights:
Navigating the Sea of SEMH Read more
What is SEMH? Read more
The Prevalence of SEMH in Schools Read more
SEMH and the Links to Suspensions and Exclusions Read more
The Importance of Early Intervention and Support Read more
The History of SEMH Read more
Breaking Down SEMH: Social Interactions, Emotional Dysregulation and Mental Health Read more
The Impact of COVID-19 on SEMH and Emotionally Based School Avoidance Read more
Where Can You Get Support? Read more
Check Out Our Frequently Asked Questions Read more
Don’t Be Swept Away with the Tide—Navigating the Sea of SEMH
Do you ever feel like you're navigating stormy seas with your child? Winds blow, waves crash and you never quite know what's on the horizon.
Whether you’re noticing changes in your child’s behaviour, struggling to understand why they might be withdrawing, or feeling concerned about their overall mental health, Social, Emotional and Mental Health (SEMH) is something many parents are facing today. With the additional challenges that have arisen post-COVID-19, it’s more important than ever to understand the signs and know how to support your child.
Just like learning to navigate the waves, understanding SEMH will give you the confidence to guide your child through the ups and downs they might face. So, grab a cup of tea, get comfortable and let’s unpack this together.
Unpacking SEMH: What Is It?
Social, Emotional and Mental Health (SEMH) refers to how children manage their emotions, build relationships, and cope with life's challenges. It encompasses a child’s emotional development, mental well-being, and social interactions. SEMH is about how children feel, think, and engage with the world around them.
When we talk about SEMH, we're looking at several aspects of a child’s emotional and mental health, including their ability to regulate emotions, interact with peers and adults and handle everyday pressures. SEMH covers a wide range of difficulties, from stress, anxiety, and depression, to more complex issues like trauma, emotional dysregulation and social isolation.
The Prevalence of SEMH in Schools
SEMH is increasingly becoming a significant area of concern for schools. Recent statistics indicate that the number of school children identified with SEMH as a primary need is on the rise. As of January 2024, approximately 18.4% of children in England have some kind of Special Educational Need (SEN), up from 17.3% in 2023. This equates to a total of 1,673,205 children with SEN, an increase of over 100,000 from 2023.
The rise in SEMH diagnoses can partly be attributed to growing awareness around mental health and the increasing recognition of emotional and behavioural challenges as legitimate needs rather than just behavioural issues. However, this growing recognition also reflects the challenges children are facing in today’s world, particularly in terms of stress, anxiety and emotional well-being.
SEMH and Its Link to Suspensions and Exclusions
There is a well-documented link between SEMH difficulties and school suspensions and exclusions. Children with SEMH issues often find it difficult to manage their emotions in school settings, which can lead to disruptive behaviour, conflicts with peers or staff and other issues that might result in disciplinary action. This can create a negative cycle, where the behaviour associated with SEMH leads to exclusion from the learning environment, further exacerbating the emotional and social challenges these children face.
According to a report by the Children’s Commissioner for England, children with SEMH are disproportionately affected by school exclusions. Data shows that over 40% of children excluded from school have SEMH-related needs. This is especially concerning because exclusions can further impact a child’s emotional well-being and development, leading to more serious issues like isolation, depression, or further disengagement from education.
In fact, children with SEMH issues are three times more likely to be permanently excluded from school than their peers without SEMH, creating a barrier to their educational achievement and long-term success. These exclusions are often linked to a lack of support or understanding in schools, where emotional and behavioural difficulties are misunderstood or not adequately addressed.
The Need for Early Intervention and Support
Given these statistics, it's crucial that we, as parents and educators, understand the importance of early intervention and support for children with SEMH needs. Early identification and tailored support can significantly reduce the risk of exclusion and help children develop coping mechanisms to manage their emotions and behaviours.
Schools have a legal duty to support children with SEMH through the Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) Code of Practice and this support should include tailored strategies for emotional regulation, social skills development and mental health support. By addressing SEMH early, we can help children stay engaged in school, improve their mental well-being and create a more inclusive and supportive learning environment for everyone.
A Quick History: From SEBD to SEMH
You might be familiar with the term SEBD (Social, Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties), which was used to describe children who struggled with behaviour and emotions. However, over the years, we’ve shifted to the term SEMH to better capture the complex relationship between a child’s social, emotional and mental health. This shift acknowledges that SEMH is about more than just how children behave—it’s about their entire emotional and mental well-being.
By changing the focus from behaviour alone to a more holistic approach, the term SEMH encourages schools, parents and professionals to look deeper at how mental health challenges affect every part of a child’s life, including their ability to connect with others, learn and regulate their emotions.
Breaking Down SEMH: Social Interactions, Emotional Dysregulation and Mental Health
Let’s dive deeper into the three core areas of Social, Emotional and Mental Health (SEMH), explore what each term means, the symptoms parents might notice and how you can support your child in each area.
1. Social Interactions
Definition: Social interactions refer to how children form and maintain relationships with peers and adults. This involves communication, understanding social cues and responding appropriately in social settings.
Symptoms to Watch For:
Difficulty making or maintaining friendships.
Struggles with understanding social cues (e.g., body language, tone of voice).
Preferring to be alone or withdrawing from group activities.
Challenges in sharing or taking turns.
Frequent misunderstandings in conversations or group activities.
How to Support Your Child:
Encourage Social Skills: Practice social scenarios at home. Role-play situations where your child might need to make small talk, ask questions or express feelings.
Use Visual Aids: Help your child recognise emotions by using pictures or charts that depict various feelings. This can support their understanding of how others might feel in different situations.
Provide Opportunities for Socialization: Arrange playdates or group activities that allow your child to practice socialising in a low-pressure environment. Encourage positive interactions and praise progress.
Seek Professional Support: If social challenges are severe, consider consulting a therapist or counsellor who specialises in social skills training or children’s behaviour.
2. Emotional Dysregulation
Emotional dysregulation occurs when a child struggles to manage or control their emotions in appropriate ways. This can lead to outbursts, mood swings, or withdrawal in response to stress or stimuli that others may find manageable.
Symptoms to Watch For:
Extreme emotional reactions to minor events (e.g., crying, yelling, or having meltdowns).
Difficulty calming down after becoming upset.
Regular mood swings, often for no apparent reason.
Anxiety or fear that seems disproportionate to the situation.
Trouble handling frustration or disappointment.
How to Support Your Child:
Teach Coping Strategies: Introduce calming techniques such as deep breathing, counting to ten, or mindfulness exercises. These can help your child regain control during emotional moments.
Consistency is Key: Ensure routines at home are predictable, as structure can help children with emotional regulation feel more secure.
Provide Emotional Support: Validate your child’s feelings, letting them know it’s okay to feel upset or angry but there are ways to handle these emotions more calmly.
Professional Help: If emotional dysregulation persists, a mental health professional can work with your child on specific strategies to help them manage their emotions more effectively.
3. Mental Health
Mental health encompasses a child’s overall psychological well-being. This includes feelings of anxiety, depression and stress and how these issues impact daily life and academic performance.
Symptoms to Watch For:
Withdrawal from social activities or schoolwork.
Sudden changes in mood (e.g., from happy to sad without cause).
Complaints of physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches or fatigue without a medical cause (often signs of anxiety or depression).
Decline in academic performance, even if the child previously performed well.
Expressing feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness.
How to Support Your Child:
Create an Open Dialogue: Let your child know they can talk to you about how they’re feeling without fear of judgment. Sometimes, just listening can make a big difference.
Promote Mental Health Awareness: Teach your child about emotions and mental health in an age-appropriate way, normalising the idea that everyone has mental health and it’s okay to seek help when needed.
Limit Stressors: Reduce pressure in areas where your child may be struggling. If schoolwork is causing stress, talk to the school about making adjustments to alleviate the burden.
Seek Professional Mental Health Support: Mental health professionals, such as therapists or child psychologists, can assess your child’s mental health and offer strategies or treatment to improve their well-being.
The Impact of Covid-19 on SEMH and EBSA
The Covid-19 pandemic has had a profound effect on children’s social, emotional and mental health. With the disruptions to schooling, social distancing and isolation from peers, many children have faced increased levels of anxiety, depression and behavioural challenges. Research shows that the impact of Covid-19 on children’s mental health has been particularly evident in increased rates of Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA).
EBSA refers to when a child refuses to attend school due to emotional distress or anxiety. Post-Covid, many children, especially those with existing SEMH challenges, have struggled to readjust to school life. The uncertainty, fear and loss of social contact during lockdowns have amplified existing mental health issues, making it harder for children to return to school routines.
How to Support Your Child with EBSA
Supporting a child who is experiencing Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re faced with pressure from school or the local authority. But take heart—there are ways to support your child compassionately, confidently and legally.
Here are some practical steps to guide you:
Prioritise Your Child’s Wellbeing- Your child’s mental health and emotional safety come first. Pushing too hard can increase anxiety and lead to further regression. It's okay to take a step back and focus on what they need right now.
Know Your Rights- Schools and Local Authorities have a legal duty to provide suitable, full-time education under Section 19 of the Education Act 1996 when a child is unable to attend due to illness (including mental health). Don’t be afraid to refer to this legislation when advocating for your child.
Don't Be Pressured by Threats or Fines- Attendance fines and warning letters can feel intimidating but you have the right to request appropriate support first. If your child is unwell (emotionally or mentally), education must be adapted to their needs.
Work with the School—But Document Everything- Try to build a collaborative relationship with the school. Create a tailored reintegration plan that works for your child. Keep detailed notes of every meeting, email and phone call. Log your child’s feelings, behaviours and any attempts made to attend school.
Seek Professional, Therapeutic Support- Engage with professionals who understand EBSA. A clinical psychologist, counsellor or therapist can help uncover the root causes and offer tailored strategies to support your child’s recovery.
Exercise Your Right to Alternative Education- If school attendance is not currently possible, request that the Local Authority make an alternative provision under Section 19. This could include tutoring, online education or specialist provision.
Where Can You Get Support?
You are not alone. Whether you're in the thick of EBSA or just beginning to notice the signs, there are communities, professionals and resources available to walk this journey with you.
School Support: Contact your school’s SENCO, pastoral lead or mental health lead to discuss concerns and plan a way forward.
Local Authority SEND Team: Reach out to your SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information, Advice and Support Service) for independent advice about your child’s rights and what support should be provided.
Professional Support: Therapists, counsellors and Educational Psychologists can assess and support your child’s emotional needs and advise on the best interventions.
Parent Support Group – Not in School: Join Not in School, a free and supportive online community for parents navigating school attendance issues and EBSA. It’s a space to share, learn and receive encouragement from others walking a similar path.
EBSA Crisis Guide and Workbook: We’ve created a detailed EBSA Crisis Guide and companion Workbook to help you understand your child’s needs, advocate for support and take practical steps forward.👉 Download the EBSA Crisis Guide and Workbook
Charities and Helplines: National organisations like YoungMinds, Mind and Contact offer advice and mental health resources for families and the Children’s Mental Health charity offer valuable information and support for parents and children.
Wrapping Up: Riding the Waves Together
Supporting your child through social, emotional and mental health challenges requires patience, understanding and the right resources. By recognising the signs of SEMH issues, understanding the impact of COVID-19 on your child’s mental health and using the strategies outlined here, you can help your child navigate these difficult waters with confidence.
Remember, every wave you face together is one step closer to building resilience and a healthier future for your child. You are not alone—reach out, seek support and keep riding the waves of SEMH with love and understanding.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What does the term SEMH mean and how does it relate to my child's well-being?
SEMH refers to the social, emotional and mental aspects of an individual's health. It encompasses how individuals manage emotions, build relationships and cope with the challenges of life. In the context of children, it emphasises the importance of addressing emotional and mental well-being alongside academic development.
I've heard about SEBD before. Why the change to SEMH?
How can I recognise if my child is experiencing social, emotional or mental health challenges?
What can I do at home to help nurture my child's social, emotional and mental well-being?
If I have concerns about my child's social, emotional and mental health, where can I turn for help?
How do I talk to my child about their feelings and well-being without making them uncomfortable?
How common is SEMH in school-aged children?
What are some signs my child may have SEMH difficulties?
How can SEMH impact my child's education?
How does SEMH relate to school suspensions and exclusions?
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